My dream life

  Someone once asked me what would I do with a million dollars? Where would you spend it? What would you spend it on or who? That my friends is a very good question. What would you all do? I myself would spend it the only way possible in my eyes......on my family! They are what is important to me...and making sure they have what they need is the only answer I have. This person said "that's all fine and good but really what is the dream life you would have for you and your family then?" Hmmmm my dream life....that is a good question.....and I have a great answer.

  8 years ago on September 24th, 2005 I made a life altering decision. One that people disregard as not important enough to hold on to in times of hardship. But I took it head on and 8 years later I still cherish my choice. My dream life started this day.

Happy 8 year Anniversary

    My family started 15 years ago. He is difficult and has a heart of gold all in the same body.
 

He hates this picture!

    Just two short years into my dream life we welcomed our 1st child. He was wanted so very badly and he almost wasn't here at all. He is sweet, kind and loving.......and oh so a perfectionist!

Such a doll face!

   Almost two years after that this one was born. Who would have thought he would have little horns hiding behind that smile.

Such a goof!

   And almost two years after that I felt a huge blow to our family. Something that has always left a hole a spot of emptiness. Not a day goes by I don't think about it or have a thought of I wish he could see this. I didn't know if this blow would tear our family apart or where our lives would go after it all happened. But it was just another chapter in our book another road on our journey together. He is missed.

Forever in our hearts

   So fast forward almost two more years.....some how I think me must like two's.... and my heart didn't hurt as much. He is full of life, spit fire and is the sweetest flirt you will ever meet.
                                                                              

Oh yeah he's cool!

   When asked as a little girl what I wanted to be when I grow up I would have said "a Mommy". That was my dream then and it still is today. Being a mom isn't all glamor or glitz. You don't get paid big bucks for it. It maybe messy and ugly at times but these.....these right here is why I do it.
                                                                                   

My Princes

   I fight dragons, demons and things the go bump in the night for them. I make choices everyday for them. I give as much as I can of me without overloading my heart for them. These are my dream. My family and my life are my dream.

   You can have dreams of grandeur and fancy things. You can have everything your heart desires if you please. But what is your dream? Do you have one? Is it beyond what you can have a "dream dream"? Or do you live your dream everyday? Is your dream life your everyday life? If it's not why not?

What day is it?

  What day is it? No really I need to know because somehow April (my last post date) turned into September! Hmmmm I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that I have 4 boys and I have completely lost my mind! No but really I am looking back and some how Spring and Summer are lost among running errands, husbands falling off ladders at work (yes I am serious about that one), Trips to Oregon, running a teenager to visit his dad, and may other parent like things that had to be done. All the while feeling like we had not a real summer vacation to speak of. I have been looking back at the pictures from April until now and the fact that my boys have changed in so many ways is a little scary to think about. I am proud of them all and a little overwhelmed by them at times.

  So for me what day is it?

  Can you believe that this child right here is almost 6 foot? Well believe it! 5ft 11inch to be exact.

Prince Seven

  On this day we were heading to go school shopping but needed some "fuel" to start our adventure. Now I say adventure because shopping with Prince Seven is every.......well........hard. At least it use to be. This shopping trip I was completely taking by surprise! I mean jaw on the floor surprise. No fighting tooth and nail (like last year) to try on "gym" shoes, no that's stupid or ugly or I won't wear that blah blah blah. Until we hit "The Mart".....he was fading, I saw the crash coming, he was so over shopping and then it came...the refusal to look at anything else clothing related or school related. Awe it was grand while it lasted! I have to admit though he has grown and matured in so many ways I am amazed and proud. He will be 15 in just a few weeks time.

  So really what day is it?

  The one who came into the world and almost gave his momma a heart attack at the same time!

Prince Linus

   And he will continue to do so for the rest off his life. Given we have yet to visit the ER but I did say yet!
He will be 6 in October. Can you believe that? Oh and he is a lefty to boot, very shy and super sensitive. So sensitive in fact that after I spent the day with Prince Seven Prince Linus said to me "what about my special day with you? You promised I could have one too!" and ran off to his room. See the thing was that I didn't have a "special day" with Prince Seven I took him school shopping not some place fun. But I had promised so I decided to deliver on my promise. We had a "special day", we had pizza, went to the toy store and had frozen yogurt. He said "it wasn't a long enough special day and we need to have a longer one next time!"

  So what day is it?

  The one with horns hiding behind that angel face!

Prince Pig Pen

  Yes I said horns. Don't get me wrong on this one as I love him to pieces but I am telling you there are horns. And yet there are smiles (with horns in there), giggles and lots and lots of snuggles. He is bold, loud and has crazy mad professor hair first thing in the morning. Can you believe he just turned 4?

  So what day is it?

  And then there is this one. He seems to think he is the baby or something!

Prince Little Bit

    Oh yes he is the baby and he is fully aware of this. He is also to smart for his own good. He knows the fridge has food to eat, he knows he is not suppose to be playing with certain things and runs away laughing once he is caught, you can even see him thinking about what he is about to do and see him planning out he escape route! Oh yes he is the baby and he is very good at it too. Can you believe he is already 16 months old?

 So what day is it?

  It is a day in the life of me. My day......everyday....yesterday....and even tomorrow. Everyday is the same but also very different. Is my day normal? I am 100% sure it is not normal by normal standards. Take for example 2 seconds ago.....Prince Little Bit was eating markers while his brothers yelled at me from the other room and were watching him do it. Some how he managed to sneak past me and get these markers and "hide" with them. I certainly hope they are non toxic like they say they are! And yet he is smiling at me like nothing ever happened! So what day is it? Not sure.......but I am praying tomorrow is not as "fun".

Just breathe!

   It is a simple thing really we do it everyday. In and out, in and out again.....no one really ever forgets to breathe. So what does it really mean? In my life I learned that this small simple saying was far easier said then done. Everyday we wake up and start the rush of the day. My schedule looks like this everyday:

6-6:30am:  Drag my tired fanny out of bed because I was up 3 times cause Prince Little Bit woke up again.
6:30-6:45: Try as hard as ever to drink a cup of coffee and wake up!
6:45-7am: Wake the teenager beast...Prince Seven is not a morning person.
7-7:05 (sometimes longer): Yell at the teenager to hurry up or we will miss the bus!
7:05-7:13: Drive like crazy (safely though) to make the bus and pray the whole way he makes it so you don't have to drive him to school 20 minutes down the hill!
7:13-7:25: Visit briefly with 2 moms I know and then drive like mad (safely) back to the house so my hubby can get to work by 7:30.
7:30-7:45: Finish helping Prince Linus get ready for school. Shuffle Prince Pigpen and Prince Little Bit to my Mom's.
7:45-7:50: Run Prince Linus to school and head back home for the little boys.
8-12ish: From here the day varies you know I hear I 'm hungry can I have a snack? I'm thirsty can I have a drink? I want lunch (at 8am in the morning). Can I watch a movie now? But if I am really really lucky Prince Little Bit takes a long long morning nap....but only if a Prince Pigpen is very very quiet....and that is rare!
12-12:20: (depending on if it is a Wed. or not) Run get Prince Linus from school and pray I am not late as he thinks I forgot him if I am. Then back to the house for a few hours.
3:20-3:45: Get Prince Seven from the bus stop and 99% of the time give his friends a ride home.


   So you see most days I feel very overwhelmed and I haven't even added in all the things that may hit through out the day unexpectedly. By bedtime I feel lost, tired, drain and just plain ole like I can't catch my breath. And this week has been no different in my routine until yesterday. Life is so unfair......pain comes in many forms but the pain of a child whom is losing someone extremely close to them is a pain like no other. And being a parent and having to tell their child this news is the hardest thing you may do.

I see more in the every now than I did before.

   Almost 5 years ago our family lost my Dad. Prince Seven was only 10 years old at the time. He didn't quite understand all that was happening except that his most favorite person in the world was dying. He will never be the same and his fear of losing the ones he loves most grew. Tuesday afternoon I had to tell him his Grandma (his dad's mom) was dying. She has been the one to help us through so much. He spent 3 weeks of his summer last year with her.....he has been asking for a few weeks now when he could visit her again. No one told us how bad it really was until Tuesday....how sick she really was. And I had to tell him....I didn't want to, my heart was hurting...I knew what was coming...but I had to tell him. So I did at 3:45 on Tuesday afternoon, he got in the car and this is what was said:
Prince Seven: So what do you need to talk to me about? Am I in trouble or something?
Me: No your not in trouble but I have something very important to tell you. (my voice was shaky I couldn't control it)
Prince Seven: What's the matter? Is Grandma R dead?
Me: Ummmm no.....but.....(I couldn't control my voice or the tears that started to fall)....I got a call today from your Aunt and then one from your dad and Grandma is very very ill.
Prince Seven: So? She is sick so what? 
Me: (the tears still came and my voice was so sad) She's not just a little sick son.....it is really really bad....the doctors say she's dying. (What came next just broke my heart)

   He punched the car window...he was mad...ok...I knew that was coming...but then he turn away like he was looking out the window and then I heard the sobbing....he sobbed all the way home! I didn't see that coming. Prince Seven is not one to cry he holds his feelings in, he gets mad, throws things, yells at people or slams doors.....but he does not just cry! As his mom my heart had been ripped from my chest and thrown against a wall, trampled by elephants and then beaten by a bat for good measure! I relived the night my dad passed away in my mind and the look on Prince Sevens face when he looked at me and asked "why?" and he started to sobbed. He sobbed 5 yrs ago and hadn't since......until now.

   My heart is heavy and I feel as if I can't breathe.....so why should I, how can I.....just breathe?
His Grandma has not pass as of yet but they believe it is going to happen soon...as in a few days. We will try to get up to see here this Friday. I let Prince Seven choose if he want to go or not...he choose Friday. It will be hard to know that we are saying good bye. I am not sure he fully understands that is what we are doing. This pain is not over. It will linger until it is all over and she is out of pain. My heart is aching again for her.
I hope she knows that I have always loved her no matter that I am not married to her son. She always called me her daughter even after we were divorced. She loved me and respected me, not just because of her Grandson but because she loved me too. She made him feel safe and like someone cared last year when we were dealing with certain things. How do you make sure someone knows they were...are... loved so very much at this point in time?

How do you just breathe?

   The rush of the day, the whirlwind you call your life seems to just fly by everyday. No time to think or sort through the good versus the bad. And to top it all off something like this! And suddenly the world around you comes to a screeching halt! It feels like someone stop in the car in front of you and you slam on the breaks! Your heart races, you feel like things suddenly jumped into perspective and you feel like you can't breathe! I know from my life and of the things I have been made to deal with that learning to just breathe is easier said then done.

   In just two days time tragedy has stuck this nation twice.....yet with the business of life these tragedies didn't seem to faze some people. They have fazed me. The shootings that happened last year...didn't faze some...they fazed me. My family means the world to me and I pray every night that I might be here tomorrow to be with them. So I set this challenge to all of you that are maybe reading this:
Take a minute reflect on what is important to you.
Take another minute and reflect on who is important to you.
Make sure that the ones you love know that they are loved.
Make the little things in life the big things because really they maybe gone tomorrow.
And if you reflect on all this and need to make a change to make this all happen....then
remember some days you just have to learn to take a minute and........
                                                            JUST BREATHE!

Beauty is best seen in the everyday drive of life!

Change is good!

Wow here it is 2013 and my promise of posting more seems to have been a lie! Or more like life got in the way. Time has certainly flew by.....much to fast if you ask me. But I am still here for those of you who still want to follow the little things in life.
I have been thinking things need to change. Lots of things, little things, big things and whatever things. Today
though I thought I would change some names in my blog. My princes all have nicknames given by us in jest and some give by ones we miss. So I thought I would change there blog names.....right now they are number Princes 1-5 but from here on out they will be these:
Prince Seven......he is just 14. My dad use to call him ole' number 7. He was his 7th grandchild....I find it fitting for him to carry this name from now on.
Prince Linus.......he is just 5. I have told you all once before how he was given this one. Him and that blue blanket.
Prince Pigpen....he is just 3. I have told you all this one as well. Dirt loves Pigpen and finds him anywhere.
Prince Evan.......he is not here. Evan is not a nickname it is his but I feel it should be said. He was to be with me.
Prince Little Bit....he is just a babe. Grandma gave him this name. Next to his brothers he is just a little thing but full of it.
So what do you think? I think it is grand, it is fitting and fun. I have lot of stories to tell of our adventures in this kingdom of princes......but for now I will not tell.......until another day!

Through My Eyes

Have you ever wondered why if feels as if the world sometimes revolves around you? I know it really doesn't but humor me a minute. I'll be honest I have felt that way.....a lot! Everyday I wake up and I SEE the world and everything around me through MY eyes! I think with MY mind and I feel with MY heart! I don't do it in someone elses body....do you???
Most days you get up and roll through the motions of the day. But there are days that MY mind looks at something and wonders...."why do I look at something that way?" Sometimes watching my Princes I wonder what things look like to them through their eyes. Or sometimes I wonder if I am the only one that sees beauty in the ordinary. My Knight and I made a break from the everyday norm of our lives with the Princes a few weekends ago. Because for the past few months I have been dealing with something and someone that was killing me inside up until recently. I was told that dealing with this person had brought up feelings of anger, resentment and abandonment. So for the past few months the world did revolve around ME, MY feelings and MY thoughts. Funny thing is I thought I had fought those demons a long time ago.....but I guess I just buried them instead. So I began to think about why it feels like the world revolves around me. I know what I see and how I feel about things....and I know that the people around me see what they see and feel what they feel through there own eyes. It is kinda of a eerie feeling when you think about it. Then I began to think about all the memories someone has and how each one is different from different people..you know like a memory of a grandparent and how each grandchild has a memory of them.....even when they are about the same memory. All these things I began to wonder as we drove down to Santa Cruz for the start of our weekend away. Crazy I know right weekend away with the hubby and I am thinking weird stuff! I probably need help....Nah! I thought and wondered as we drove as the scenery changed. As we drove through the city and onto Hwy 17 and headed toward Santa Cruz the city stopped and the trees began. I can't really explain how it felt to go from a city to a forest (sorta)....because it wasn't a type of forest I was use to. But as we drove through this stretch of highway and the trees changed I began to see home and I began to realize that I have known this beauty all my life and I never knew it! I guess once you have lived in one place long enough it doesn't seems new and beautiful. All the thoughts and worries of what I had been dealing with no longer seemed to plague my mind and weight down my heart. I didn't take a picture of this beautiful drive we were driving and snapping pictures as we drove would have not been a beautiful sight. But I thought I would share our trip through MY eyes....or camera which ever you prefer!
Our first stop after our long drive down was to Natural Bridges State Beach. It was beautiful....breath taking....and just awesome! The first part we did was the Butterfly Trail. I LOVE butterflies!

Monarch Butterfly

There were several hundred up resting in the trees!

Once we watched these beautiful insects for a while we trekked back up the trail to the beach. There were lots of people on the beach. I had kinda wished that there had been less....so you could really enjoy the quiet breath taking view. Now this beach so got it's name because of the giant rock that has been left to stand in the ocean as what looks like it's all by it's self...but it is not I just could not get a beautiful shot of the other bridge that jets out from shore just to the left of this one. To many people!!

See breath taking!

This is why it is called Natural Bridges Beach

After this we just drove up Hwy 1 to Half Moon Bay. It was a wonderful drive.....calm and beautiful. I kept dreaming of a beach house somewhere and living in it and waking every morning to a beautiful view of the beach. Sitting on the porch with my morning cup of coffee with creamer! Watching the waves and listening to the sounds of everything around me. Or even watching my Princes play on the beach and enjoying the screams of laughter! Even now as I write I can envision this beach house and beach.
Any who.....as we drove I daydreamed. Once through Half Moon Bay we turned onto Hwy 92. Now as we drove up the coast and on to the 92 we saw lots and lots of these.

The 4th or 5th Pumpkin patch.

 This one was taken the first stretch of Hwy 92. And we saw about a dozen total from Santa Cruz up and on the 92. And probably 6 or more just on the 92 alone! We also saw some of these.....

Yep that's right Dinosaurs by the Bay!

Seriously do you see this everyday?

 Once past all the Pumpkin patches and Dino's the drive was quite pretty. The landscape began to change and the trees lined the road side. If I could have stopped I would have and just breathed in the wonderful calm and beauty of it all. After driving on the 92 we headed for our hotel. Checked in and found a place for dinner. Then back to our room for a goodnight sleep.
Sunday morning came a little to early for me! But we rolled out of bed and packed up and head to our next days adventure. We head up to Pier 39 in San Francisco. And it just so happened to be Fleet Week! There were people everywhere! Once we found parking and walked to the Pier we were ready for some lunch. We ate at the Wipe Out Bar and Grill. Not to bad.....but I have had better. After we walked the Pier...stopped in shops etc.

Sea Lions

San Francisco view from the Pier.

He posed for me.

Alcatraz 

All the boats

Magic Show

The Carousal

View from the second floor...see a LOT of people!

Driving home

 Now that we have been some place new to us....I am so planning another trip! Just next time more stops and more pictures. So you may all be wondering why I started this post about the way I see things? Well look back at my last pictures......nothing special right? Just our car driving on the bridge right? Simple, unimportant right? Yeah maybe to you....but to me? This was what I saw through MY eyes.....this was the drive home....the drive back to reality......to MY life...to MY world. What do you feel from this picture? Nothing? Maybe to you......but to me? I feel love, joy and thankfulness. How could I feel that from this picture you may ask? Look and this picture again.....I am sitting in the passenger seat right?  Well I am sitting next to MY love, MY joy and MY thankfulness! See I don't look at the world and just wander through it mundanely everyday...maybe once in awhile but not everyday. See to me the things I see and feel are not the same as other people.....or maybe they are and just don't know it. The last few months have made me become more aware that our lives shouldn't be mundane. And a conversation with a friend of mine who is separated right now made me realize not to be so critical of others and to make sure and take the time to tell those important to you that you love them. So you see the world does in a sense revolve around you.....but only because it is your world......the way YOU see and feel it everyday!

 

JUST SAYING!

 Now I am warning you all I am not talking about you all being important.....you know like being SOMEBODY!!! So don't be thinking that!

Once a year you take a walk down down Memory Lane!

Once a year you take a walk down Memory Lane. For some this walk is everyday, week, month, or a year. Today for me it is a year. I walk down this lane several times a year. If I were to count how many I would be at 6 times a year. But that is per year....most days I walk it everyday sometimes every minute. Why would you walk down it everyday you may ask? What point is there to do it? And why would you subject yourself to that walk on some of the rockiest parts of that lane?  Hmmmmm........but WHY NOT! Memories are a story of your life and they hold important keys to who we are as humans. They have a beginning and an end. And sometimes they intertwine with each other to make better ones.
Most days my stories are alive everyday and I watch them play and grow. My stories are sometimes sad and sometimes happy......sometimes short and sometimes long. But every one of my stories that I have had in my life (35 years now) have made me blossom into who I am. Have I done things I regret? YES. Have people been in my life that shouldn't have been? YES. But do I let regret rule my life? NO. Why not you may ask?
Regret is a feeling that comes sneaking in and if you let it rule you...you let it win. It steals your happiness and makes you feel worthless. So I have chosen to to raise above regret......and instead learn from the "BAD" choices I have made in my life. And since I have decided to learn from them I have gained that happiness and a life that I will never regret or take for granted.
So today I have been very thankful for the life that I have and all because I am happy. And that happiness came to me 7 years ago (Sept. 24th, 2005) when I met the man I was suppose to marry! And hence he gave me more happiness when we were blessed with a little boy 5 years ago today. So for today I will share my walk down Memory Lane with you all. Prince#2 will always be one of my little boys.

Waiting for him to come!

So very sick!

Spent his first week in NICU!

No more tubes!

2 weeks old

4 weeks old

One of my fave of him and daddy.

Love that smile!

Such a ham!

He is handsome.

Fave day ever for him!

So excited about the beach!

Legoland reward for being a "big boy"

1st day of Kindergarten

 He came into this world a fighter and he is now the biggest lover too. He is 5 and I am his Mom. He was wanted and we almost lost him. He is quiet until he wants to be heard. He is tenderhearted and that will never change. He is my baby boy and he is 5. I love you my Prince#2....forever and always!

As the leaves fall!!!

Strange to look back and see that the year that seemed to be just beginning is now almost just ending! So many wonderful things have come and gone in this year. And yet here I sit and think "WAIT ONE SECOND WHERE DID THIS YEAR GO?" It seems just like yesterday I welcomed Prince#5 in to my life and Summer just started. But here it is the first of October the start of fall. I guess instead of blabbing about what happened to our summer I could just recap some of it for you or just keep blabbing? Nah I will just recap for ya'll! I think I left off at the 8th grade graduation.
We had a Graduation for Prince#1 at the end of May. Then in June we had a fun Graduation party for him and a few of our other friends. There were 4 graduates in all, 2 for 8th grade and 2 for High School. Crazy how fast these kids grow up.

Yummy Cake!

 Then as summer went on we had fun in the yard and some days we packed up and went to the lake. We are privileged to have a small lake just down the road. The boys love the water and this year Prince#3 was more into "swimming" than he was before.

Fun at the lake with Auntie!

 And of course no summer is complete without a trip to the zoo! Prince#3 had been begging since the first trip to San Diego Zoo to go back to the zoo....but we told him we had to wait until his little brother got here. So of course what was the first thing to come out of his mouth the very morning they came to see Prince#5 in the hospital? Oh yeah that's right "Can we go to the zoo now?!" Well we had to tell him we had to wait a little bit longer just until Prince#5 was a little bit bigger.......so we took him to the Sacramento Zoo when little brother got a little bigger!

Fun at the zoo!

 The summer seemed to fly by and pretty soon the threat of school began to approach! We wanted to go to the Beach again but it just didn't seem to be in the picture this year. So we decided to try something different. Now I am not nor have I ever been a CAMPER! But this year I sucked it up and decided for my Princes I would do what I hated most.....CAMP! And boy am I glad I did! The boys had the best time (expect for Prince#1 but that is only if you ask him)!

Going on an adventure hike!

See the future Movie Maker! He loves to make movies with his friends and I told him to make a movie about our first camping trip. Well he said he would rather make it into a horror movie! The kid is such a character. He has yet to make this "horror movie" as his computer is....well dead! He will have to wait until it is functional once again.
Everyone enjoyed their new adventure in camping. So much so Prince#3 has done nothing but talk about going camping again with his favorite person in the world......my cousin! She is the best with kids and they love her to death!

Helping set up the tent!

So summer came and summer went. And the new school year came. SIGH.....I was not ready for it...I protested in fact! But it came anyway despite what I wanted! So I prepared to send my oldest one to high school and and my second oldest one to Kindergarten. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BABIES?!

Prince#2 1st day of Kindergarten!

 Prince#2 was so very ready and so very excited. He loves school so much so he cried one day he had to stay home sick! Now Prince#1 was not so excited about school. He has been home schooled for a few years and was a little scared to go back. He wasn't sure he would have anyone he would know to hang out with. But the first day was freshman orientation and as he got off the bus that day he was followed by a tall young teenage boy that reminded me of one of his other friends. As he approached the car he said "Mom do you remember Alex?" And I did. He was a lot shorter in 5th grade but he and Prince#1 were the best of friends in school. And of course 95% of the kids he knew in 5th grade are now freshmen with him.....so he is doing just fine.

So here we are the first of October the first of fall....sigh.....I have recounted our summer of fun. But now I sit and think of the fact that my princes yet again are growing to fast for me. Prince#1 has turned 14! Yes I said 14. I cried that day.....I was sad but only because I will always remember that little face of my 1st born prince. He is becoming a young man but he will always be my baby boy!

Where is that little boy?

Prince#3 is no different in that he turned 3 in July. He is my Prince of Tales and he should be dubbed "Gabby"! He talks until your head hurts......and what is more the kid has logic like crazy! The tales he tells are crazy yes but when you try to reason then out he does it for you!

I see the wheels a turning in his head!

September seemed to be a super busy and crazy month for my family. So busy in fact that we didn't get to really celebrate our 7 year Anniversary! Oh we did dinner and some shopping....but we haven't been anywhere special for our Anniversary in about 6 years I do believe! But there was so much going on that we decided to postpone it. We hope to take a drive down the coast from Half Moon Bay to Santa Cruz. We have lived in California our wholes lives and there are many things we have yet to do or try. So we would like to make a memory of this for ourselves!

And so again here we are back in October and the season called fall. October does hold a very special day. October 2nd...5 years ago.....a little boy was welcomed into our family. He was very sick and almost died. He is a very special little boy. Prince#2 will always be special in my heart. Now I am not saying I have a favorite child because all my boys are my favorite in different ways. But Prince#2 was very much wanted and it took over a year for him to come to us. And of course for us to almost lose him well that was not fun. So tomorrow my special little boy will be 5 years old. I will most likely cry a little bit.....but HEY I am entitled I am his mother!!

He is such a little man!

And of course how can I post all about Summer fun, Family fun and all the Princes and them growing up without a post about Prince#5! Prince#5 has been our biggest blessing yet.....I watch him grow and of course he has the best smile ever! I look at him and I am reminded of what could have been had we not lost Prince#4.....but I don't regret what I can not change. I have come to realize that I can grieve and love all in the same heart. I can dream and live in reality. And I believe that Prince#4 wasn't ready to be part of our family.......and that Prince#5 was! He brings light to my darkness and happiness to my sadness. He was my savior from myself........He will always be my band aid to the open wound that will never truly close in my life. I will always love and miss my Prince#4 but I am thankful for Prince#5!

Prince#5 4months old

Don't tell me that smile isn't the best medicine ever!!